Being a first-time mom and learning to have a newborn was a life experience for me. Adding postpartum in the mix was another wrench and I had to figure it out. I will be sharing as a second-time mom, 4 ways to prep for postpartum with baby #2.
It made me realize I honestly didn’t know what I was doing and had to wing it.
As a mom, you wing everything right? We always figure it out along the way.
But as I’m currently pregnant with baby #2, I could try to prep myself better. Without all of the extra fluff of baby things since there is more to it!
Motherhood is such a life transition that most of us don’t get it or fight against our new “normal selves”. We birthed a human and we also birthed our new selves.
Postpartum is part of the mother after having a baby. It was something I didn’t understand the first time when I had my daughter.
1. Giving yourself grace
Grace, is such a beautiful word and definition. I didn’t realize how important it was to instill it in my daily routine.
Giving yourself grace as a mom is super important. We try the best we can do on a daily! Things can go really LEFT in .2 seconds and we have to be ok with it or try to.
During postpartum, we need a ton of grace!
It’s rarely ever perfect and most times we need to accept that there are days when we can’t control everything.
And it’s ok momma.
I always emphasize to my mommy friends to have grace for themselves. It can be so easy to pick on our faults and not feel too good about ourselves.
There are times I have to remind myself too! And I have it written on my whiteboard in my room. So when I wake up or go to sleep I see the sentence “give yourself grace” on a daily.
I need to see the word grace on my whiteboard on a daily after having my second born! This demanding toddler of mine will be testing me! Phew! You know how that goes…tantrums and patience.
Before kids, I would make sure everything was perfect and had to get everything done on a strict schedule.
If a task wasn’t done on time, I would blame myself. ughhh.
My daughter taught me that I’m not in control in certain situations. I will have to accept things as they are. and it’s ok.
When my daughter was born, I tried to stick to what the baby books recommended. Girl, it didn’t last too long because I was so rigid that it would stress me TF out!
I figured if I listened to what this “baby author” recommended for my child, my life would be easier. However, I soon realized it wasn’t working because my baby is not like every other baby.
My baby is a person with her own temperament and I had to listen to those cues.
When I started to “let go” of what I wanted to control, I felt a sense of relief. And it felt good to shrug my shoulders and say “ok, it is what it is.”
So if you’re a mommy, just remember not everything is going to go your way. It can be a teaching moment to just be present.
Be present with your child, and watch the silly and crazy things that happen with them. Even if it’s frustrating or funny! Life throws random stuff at us! It’s ok!
Plus raising kids has to be one of the most SINGLE hardest things you can ever do. There’s no instruction manual and you are doing what you believe is the best for your kid or kids!
Postpartum will have you feeling like you aren’t capable and have to rely on everyone to do things. But know that you are doing a lot of work.
Take care of yourself and be well. Give grace to you and love on you.
Here are a few tips:
- give yourself patience daily.
- get off of social media to reduce stress.
- create a list of things that make you happy and be intentional about applying those things when you don’t feel right.
- Create your tribe of people you can vent to.
- Accept help anywhere you can receive it. Even if it’s Instacart.
- Slow down.
- say affirmations to yourself with gratitude.
Read here to find out what it was like having PPD and baby blues when I wasn’t giving myself grace.
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2. Learning how to feed your baby
Feeding your baby sounds simple…bottle or breast until you’ve got to make some decisions….
So while I imagined breastfeeding with my first baby was going to be a breeze…
I was UNPREPARED like walking into something in the dark with no light in sight!
Unfortunately, I was a bit naive about the journey of breastfeeding. I thought that it would be easy by saving money with formula. I didn’t know about the sore nipples, mastitis, engorgement, and all types of breastfeeding issues.
We hear the saying “breast is best” all the time. It gets stuck in your head so much that you feel like that should be the only way to go. And so I figured I should stick with that for my baby.
I wanted to provide the best for her (breast) but it was too difficult for me at the moment. It felt like if I were to continue breastfeeding it would mentally frustrate me.
I also didn’t feel like I had the support from home and didn’t know where vent about this new journey. I think it was because I was too overwhelmed and overly tired.
Every time I would breastfeed her it felt like I was getting depressed so I had to stop.
It was draining to come to the conclusion of me having to stop breastfeeding. But I wanted to have happy memories of being with my newborn. I didn’t want these feelings of frustration, depression, anxiousness and worry all the time.
Everyone has a different breastfeeding journey and it’s ok that everyone has a different story.
To the moms who continue the breastfeeding journey long-term, I salute you! I know it’s not that easy!
By then, I had to use formula and there is no shame at all for using it. I had to do it for my sanity and sleep since it was easier for me to feed her that way.
My mom never breastfed me and I came out healthy. So having her by my side to make a decision was easier because mentally I was not ok.
Try not to compare yourself to others moms who have gone longer than you in breastfeeding. It will make you feel a certain way like you aren’t good enough. However, I want you to know that you are a GREAT mother and you are doing your absolute best.
I breastfed for 12 days and my child is healthy to this day!
Since my second pregnancy, I’ve been intentionally googling and reading more about breastfeeding. Now it’s starting to make sense to me the breastfeeding knowledge I lacked in my first pregnancy.
I love reading books so I found this one which was an easy read!
There are links in my post where I’m able to earn a small commission if you decide to purchase at no cost to you.
You can also find Youtube videos and google to find the most up-to-date information. Take this with a grain of salt though!
Not everyone is going to have the same experience as you and you’ll figure it out with your baby.
Try speaking to a lactation specialist about any questions you have before the baby arrives. They can help answer any specific questions if you like to be on top of things. Keep their info on your phone!
I had a lactation specialist come to my room the day I delivered Luna and she checked on me every day until I left. She was so helpful and I wish I kept her information and reached out. This time I have called the hospital and have their info on my phone for future help!
She helped me a lot and I thought I could naturally do it myself when I got home but I was struggling! It’s definitely ok to let someone else help you.
Feeding baby tips:
- Create a plan for how you want to feed your baby. Ex. breastfed only, formula, or a mix of both?
- Try to be flexible if your plan doesn’t work out. Remember “Fed is best” and as long as the baby is fed, he or she will be ok. I was strictly formula fed as a baby and I came out fine 🙂
- Create a community of other moms who are going through the same breastfeeding journey as you. It helps to have moms who understand what you’re going through. This is one of the reasons I blog and Influence! You can start following moms on social media if you don’t have any right now and see what they’re doing.
- Limit comparisons on how you feed your child. It can get discouraging and know you are the best mom for your baby.
- Try not to buy all of the feeding gadgets before the baby arrives. I learned that with my daughter, I had bought “things” that she didn’t like, so I had to buy different accessories that worked for her and me. There’s always time to get whatever you need with the baby. That’s why we have amazon or target drive up!
3. Minimizing baby anything!
Baby items can be overwhelming right?
For example, baby clothes can be a bit much like two-piece sets, onesies, accessories, etc. It’s just a lot! And then after a while, you realize there were pieces they forgot to wear and need to donate.
Minimizing baby clothes in your closet can save you a ton of money and space. My son’s closet isn’t even filled up like I did with my daughter and he has about 20 pieces of clothing.
These consist of newborn clothing and the first few days with his belly button falling out etc.
Also asking for hand-me-downs from other friends who had kids can save you money as well. My friend donated her son’s clothing and I’m super grateful! I didn’t need to buy much.
As a second-time mom, I started going through my daughters’ things to see what my son can use and donating the rest to other children in need.
You can minimize all things baby by seeing what they like first and then continue to buy more of what works for you and them. Examples: feeding utensils, feeding accessories, bibs, pacifiers, toys, and more.
Save your sanity and money by minimizing and buying as they grow. You will feel much better, promise.
4. Postpartum care as a second-time mom
During my first pregnancy, I was prepping for my baby like crazy and didn’t think about how to prepare for postpartum care, known as the fourth trimester.
Honestly, I ignored that part because I was very naive thinking I could bounce back and I would be fine…. I was WRONG girl….
If you’re like me and love to do everything yourself, you always imagine being a super mom who can do anything and not need anyone to help you.
I learned right away that the sleepless nights, hormones changing up and down, food choices, and home environment, did not contribute to the best postpartum care.
You need help, accept all the help you can get once the baby is here. I REPEAT..receive all the help you can get if you can receive it! Don’t try to do everything if someone wants to help you.
The first week of having my daughter I was trying to make Target runs, clean the house, do all sorts of things even though my mom was there to help me, I just kept thinking I could do it myself. I was being stubborn and kept trying to have my active task life before baby.
If you have the help, please take advantage of it. You need to rest and recover for when baby arrives. Even if it’s something small.
Now that my mom is here for the second baby, I have not done anything and plan on keeping it that way since I know the kind of help I need.
I became very intentional about caring for myself this time around and invested in buying books like this one which has been a game changer! and I’ve been invested in reading more about the postpartum part of motherhood.
Postpartum care doesn’t get talked about much since we are bombarded with so much baby talk that the mother needs to be “mothered” during the first few weeks after giving birth.
You’ve created a life for 9 months and you must get the care you need and create an environment that will make you feel comfortable.
Here are a few tips for postpartum care that I will try myself:
- Eat foods that make you feel good. You shouldn’t be counting calories in the beginning since your body is depleted and needs to recover. Take this time to eat foods that will make your energy, spirit, and mind feel wholesome.
- Spend some time outside in the sun to take advantage of the natural vitamin D.
- Listen to music or tv shows that you love.
- Talk to friends/family that make you feel amazing.
- Take a stroll outside with or without baby.
- Spend less time on social media. *Ahh, the temptation of comparing yourself is not a good one!
- Write down things in a journal that make YOU feel happy and try to apply them after having a baby.
- Create a list of your necessary health tribe ex. lactation consultant, therapist, obgyn, chiropractor etc. so that you have their number readily accessible.
- Join a mom group.
- Learn to give boundaries for you and your baby so that the pressure of overwhelm doesn’t happen.
- Start a list for you and your partner of the expectations you have when taking care of baby and check in’s.
- Have open communication with your partner about how you are feeling and vice versa.
- Don’t rush about how you “should be” after baby, take your time. It’s your journey.
This is a short list that you can start off with and I hope it gives you an idea of what to do.
Well, there you go second-time mom: 4 ways to prep for postpartum with baby #2
Here’s a summary:
- Give yourself grace
- Learning to feed baby since it can be hard to choose between bottle and breast or using both.
- Minimizing baby items
- Take care of yourself more through postpartum care
I hope this helps! leave a comment below for any other tips, and subscribe to my blog for more content 🙂
