Being a first-time mom learning to navigate postpartum depression, having a newborn, and learning that life was NOT going to be the same gave me PTSD during my fourth trimester.
It wasn’t easy but I made it through. And I didn’t want to go through that again.
I want you to be better equipped with information since I was naive during my first baby.
Currently, I’m pregnant with baby #2 (this post has been revised since 2022), I think I’ve been more intentional about prepping for postpartum and baby.
I hope these tips will help you on this journey.
Let’s dive into 4 ways to prep for postpartum second time around
1. Easing into postpartum the second time around
Grace, is such a beautiful word and definition in motherhood. Grace is when you can allow imperfections, challenges ,while forgiving ourselves and love on YOU.
I didn’t realize how important it was to instill grace in my daily routine.
Giving yourself grace as a mom is important. I don’t think we understand it until we go through the challenges and our lives can feel messy.
I know you’re trying to do your best daily!
Things can go LEFT in .2 seconds and we have to be ok with it or try to.
And it’s ok momma.
During postpartum, you need a ton of grace!
I always tell my mommy friends to have grace…. always. It can be so easy to pick on our faults and go down the rabbit hole of not feeling enough.
Sometimes I have to remind myself about having grace since I forget. I’m human too.
To get my mind right every morning, I write a sentence on my white board: “Give yourself grace” as a reminder.
I need to see the word “grace” on my whiteboard daily after having my second born. My demanding toddler has been testing me and you KNOW how those tantrums can be Phew!
My daughter taught me that I’m not in control of certain situations. I will have to accept things as they are. and it’s ok.
When my daughter was born, I tried to stick to what the baby books recommended. It didn’t last too long because I was so rigid that it would stress me TF out!
I figured if I listened to what this “baby author” recommended for my child, my life would be easier. However, I soon realized it wasn’t working because my baby is not like every other baby.
My baby is a person with her own temperament and I had to listen to those cues.
When I started to “let go” of what I wanted to control, I felt a sense of relief. And it felt good to shrug my shoulders and say “ok, it is what it is.”
So mommy, just remember everything may not go your way.
It can be a teaching moment to just be present.
Be present with your child, and watch the silly and crazy things that happen with them. Even if it’s frustrating or funny! Life throws random stuff at us! It’s ok!
Plus raising kids has to be one of the most SINGLE hardest things you can ever do.
I think it IS the hardest honestly.
Postpartum will have you feeling like you aren’t capable of doing anything outside of taking care of a baby.
But it’s a time of rest, being present with your baby and all of the extra-ness like housework, etc. can wait.
You are doing WORK.
Take care of yourself and be well.
Here are more postpartum tips:
- Give yourself patience daily.
- Get off of social media to reduce stress. Curate social media that makes you feel happy, unfollow gossip sites or people that don’t make you feel good.
- Create a list of things that make you happy and be intentional about applying those things when you don’t feel right.
- Create a tribe of people to who you can vent to.
- Accept help anywhere you can receive it even if it’s Instacart or uber eats. (This helps!)
- Slow down.
- Have an affirmations calendar and say them.
- Listen to good music.
- Read or audio book, podcast.
- Laugh (comedy shows have been my go to).
2. Feeding prep for baby #2
Feeding your baby is one of the most difficult parts (besides sleep) that we can experience as a mom during postpartum.
The second time around, feeding your baby sounds simple…bottle or breast until you’ve got to make some decisions….
So while I imagined breastfeeding with my first baby was going to be a breeze…
I was UNPREPARED like walking into the dark with no light in sight!
Unfortunately, I was a bit naive about the journey of breastfeeding. I thought that it would be easy to save money with formula.
I didn’t know about sore nipples, mastitis, engorgement, and all types of breastfeeding issues.
It was draining me mentally to stop breastfeeding. But I wanted to have happy memories of being with my newborn.
I didn’t want these feelings of frustration, depression, anxiousness, and worry all the time.
Since my second pregnancy, I’ve been intentionally Googling and reading more about breastfeeding.
Now it’s starting to make sense when you are equipped with breastfeeding knowledge.
I lacked that in my first pregnancy and now I know better.
I love reading books so I found this one about breastfeeding which was an easy read and it HELPED me so much.
It was like the universe sent it to me specifically to help ya girl out.
There are links in my post where I’m able to earn a small commission if you decide to purchase at no cost to you.
You can also find Youtube videos and google to find the most up-to-date information. Take this with a grain of salt though!
Not everyone is going to have the same experience as you and you’ll figure it out with your baby.
Try speaking to a lactation specialist about any questions you have before the baby arrives. They can help answer any specific questions if you like to be on top of things. Keep their info on your phone!
I had a lactation specialist come to my room the day I delivered my first born and she checked on me every day until I left. She was an angel and I wish I kept her information and reached out. This time I’ve called the hospital and have their info on my phone for future help!
The nurse helped me a lot and I thought I could do it naturally myself when I got home but I was struggling! It’s ok to allow outside professional help.
Feeding baby tips:
- Create a plan for how you want to feed your baby. Ex. breastfed only, formula, or a mix of both? Be open to it.
- Try to be flexible if your plan doesn’t work out. Remember “Fed is best” and as long as the baby is fed, he or she will be ok. I was strictly formula-fed as a baby and I came out fine 🙂
- Create a community of other moms who are going through the same breastfeeding journey as you. It helps to have moms who understand what you’re going through. This is one of the reasons I blog and Influence! You can start following moms on social media if you don’t have any right now and see what they’re doing.
- Limit comparisons on how you feed your child. It can get discouraging and know you’re the best mom for your baby.
- Try not to buy all of the feeding gadgets before the baby arrives. I learned that with my first born, I bought “things” she didn’t like, so I had to buy different accessories that worked for her and I. There’s always time to get whatever you need with the baby.
3. Keeping baby needs minimal
You already know baby items can be overwhelming!
From onesies, toys, feeding gadgets, bath care, newborn essentials, the list goes on!
And sometimes you forget that you had that extra clothing item or toy that was stashed in the closet for you to use when they were ready to wear or use it and then its too late!
You have to donate it or give it away. Because they outgrew it.
Minimizing baby clothes in your closet can save you a ton of money and space. My son’s closet isn’t even filled up like I did with my daughter and he has about 20 pieces of clothing.
These consist of newborn clothing and the first few days with his belly button falling out etc.
Not just with clothing but minimizing all baby anything. Toys, feeding gadgets. You name it.
Also asking for hand-me-downs from other friends who had kids can save you money as well. My friend donated her son’s clothing and I’m super grateful! I didn’t need to buy much.
As a second-time mom, I started going through my daughters’ things to see what my son can use and donating the rest to other children in need.
You can minimize all things baby by seeing what they like first and then continue to buy more of what works for you and them. Examples: feeding utensils, feeding accessories, bibs, pacifiers, toys, and more.
Save your sanity and money by minimizing and buying as they grow. You will feel much better, promise.
4. Postpartum recovery plan for second-time moms
During my first pregnancy, I was prepping for my baby like crazy and didn’t think about how to prepare for postpartum care, known as the fourth trimester.
Honestly, I ignored that part because I was naive thinking I could bounce back and I would be fine…. I was WRONG….
If you’re like me and love to do everything yourself, (which isn’t always the best) you always imagine being a super mom who can do anything and not need help from anyone.
I learned right away the sleepless nights, hormones changing up and down, food choices, and home environment, did NOT contribute to the best postpartum care.
You need help, accept all the help you can get once the baby is here.
I REPEAT..receive all the help you can get if you can receive it!
Don’t try to do everything if someone wants to help you.
The first week of having my daughter, I did Target runs, cleaned the house, did all sorts of things even though my mom was there to help me.
I just kept assuming I could do it myself.
Mentally I was tracking everything I wasn’t doing and was grasping onto my active life before baby.
We get bombarded with so much baby talk that the mother needs to be “mothered” during the first few weeks after giving birth.
Now that my mom is here for the second baby, I haven’t done anything and plan on keeping it that way since I know the kind of help I need.
I became very intentional about caring for myself this time around and invested in buying books like the fourth trimester to help educate myself and this can help you too.
Here are a few tips for postpartum care:
- Eat foods that make you feel good. You shouldn’t be counting calories in the beginning since your body is depleted and needs to recover. Take this time to eat foods that will make your energy, spirit, and mind feel wholesome.
- Spend some time outside in the sun to take advantage of the natural vitamin D.
- Listen to music or tv shows that you love.
- Talk to friends/family that make you feel amazing.
- Take a stroll outside with or without baby.
- Spend less time on social media. *Ahh, the temptation of comparing yourself is not a good one!
- Write in a journal to vent out your feelings.
- Create a list of your “health tribe” ex. lactation consultant, therapist, obgyn, chiropractor etc. so that you have their number readily accessible.
- Learn to create boundaries for you and your baby so that the pressure of overwhelm doesn’t happen.
- Start a list for you and your partner of the expectations you have when taking care of baby and check in’s.
- Have open communication with your partner about how you are feeling and vice versa.
- Don’t rush about how you “should be” after baby, take your time. You need rest.
These are just a few tips that you can start off with and think of when you have your second baby.
Takeaways: 4 ways to prep for postpartum the second time around
I hope these 4 ways to prep for postpartum the second time around help you and remember that YOU will have your unique journey.
Always give yourself grace since we can be too hard on ourselves.
Use these practical tips like figuring out how to feed your baby, minimizing baby items and being intentional about your postpartum care.
I hope this helps! Leave a comment below for any other tips!
