While I was pregnant with my daughter, I remember researching anything that would prepare myself for motherhood….ha! I learned that nothing can prepare you for motherhood… just have no expectations, have grace with yourself and you will learn as you go!
Here are 4 mommy myths that were complete opposite in real life….
1. Sleep when baby sleeps
I don’t know why this myth is still around, but as a mom it’s impossible to sleep when the baby is sleeping! For starters you’re probably thinking about pumping milk, washing clothes, eating, running an errand etc! I know, I know, it’s important to take a break, but honestly who is going to do these things while you’re sleeping… unless you have HELP…take advantage of it!
I personally couldn’t sleep when the baby slept. I had my in-laws living with us, I was trying to figure out my new routine with baby and everything I cooked was cold by the time I reached it.
I remember thinking like how could I have possibly forget to eat! Why is my chicken cold! I was trying to prevent that from happening but then I would have had to breastfeed or pump or do something!
It definitely was an overwhelming time for me and this was something that came to mind as I had my daughter. I didn’t understand how people slept while baby slept because I wasn’t getting any!
Now that she’s older, I’m definitely able to take a nap (which is still rare since I like to do errands while shes sleeping) and probably once a month I’ll take a nap 🙂
So yea, please stop saying “sleep when baby sleeps” because as a first time mom..lets be real it ain’t happening.
2. You’ll lose the baby weight as soon as you deliver
For some reason, I thought that once I had my daughter I would drop to my pre-pregnancy weight super quick.
Not sure why I thought that but I was for sure adamant that it was going to happen ha! I’m glad I didn’t force myself into losing weight so quickly but I realized my body needed to heal.
Knowing that my body had created life for 9 months and then it would take another 9 months or more to heal was ok with me.
I know there are some women who show their body and snap back within a few days or a month can be discouraging for a lot of women, but just know that everyone has their own journey.
Heck, you created life! That’s the biggest blessing and for your body to do that you should give praise! Honestly I feel like I want to strengthen my body more by doing yoga and Barre’ classes.
I say this because I’ve been having back problems and another big reason is that I need to strengthen my core. Just strengthening my body overall and being less critical of it is important.
I’ve come to the point of not caring if I have that slight pooch and… what do I think of stretch marks??.. I really don’t care! It’s just a reminder that I carried a baby! Yes there are times where I’m like ehhh I could lose this and that but I’ve trained myself to eat better and exercise.
My body responds well to exercise and I’ve noticed that if I don’t exercise, I get a bit more irritated, lose focus and it’s the same with not eating healthy foods.
If you want to get on a healthy lifestyle, I’d suggest looking for people who inspire you to be healthy and see what they’re doing. It’s all about intention!
But we should strive for a healthy and balanced lifestyle. Taking care of yourself and a baby is already hard enough. Give yourself some self love.
Remember not to pressure yourself to look like others who have had a baby and they are super skinny! We all have different journeys and stories.
3. Marriage will be the same after baby
(Inserts crickets) Yeah so this part was definitely a challenge. My husband and I never had major issues in communication before baby, but once Luna came it was a whole whirlwind of emotions that took me by surprise.
I didn’t realize that mothers would take most of the responsibility and I would get frustrated with my husband for not doing as much as I did or he would be sleeping like a baby while I was up for hours feeding my daughter.
I eventually resented him and kept all of my feelings inside which was not ever a good idea and something in me said I had to express myself or else I couldn’t take it anymore.
So as I expressed my frustration he understood everything and started to help out more.
For us it was difficult since we were dealing with a newborn, my hormones were out of wack, my spouse works 12+ hours shifts…it was way too much.
It’s like there was a never ending break and our lives of “just us” before were gone. I didn’t know what to do and I kept praying and knowing that this was going to pass.
I know some people like to say that by having a baby it can make relationships stronger…I think it can do the complete OPPOSITE if you and your partner aren’t on the same page when it comes to taking care of your child together.
It’s definitely a partnership and I’m so blessed my spouse understands my feelings and we talk about everything when it comes to taking care of our daughter. It’s a 50/50 partnership and although I can say I take 10 more percent of the partnership when it comes to taking care of our daughter, I know that I can rely on my husband to talk things out.
Communication is HUGE when baby arrives and having that open line of communication with love, respect and understanding is important with your spouse.
I would also advise not to have any expectations with your spouse when it comes to taking care of the child. Most of the time alot of us moms have different ways of taking care of our children and dads can do the complete opposite of us ha!
I know I’m guilty of criticizing my husband on certain things but I realize well Luna is going to be alright! She’ll be fine! I can’t do everything so I have to leave things up to him.
I feel like having our daughter and going through this little bump in our marriage of communication has now made us stronger and we enjoy every minute of parenthood.
Our style of communication has definitely improved since I’m open about my feelings and I don’t hold it in.
We enjoy our alone time more and enjoy the smallest things when we dedicate ourselves to each other.
Communicate with your partner, it’s ok if it hurts but you both need to express how you feel in an understanding way. It will be difficult at first but once you both have that line of communication, you’ll feel open to express your hardships of motherhood.
4. The first year of motherhood is bliss
Motherhood has many beautiful highs and down right dirty lows.
Ok yes it was beautiful that I had my daughter and she’s given me purpose in my life but my experience in the first year was complete opposite of what I had in mind.
It all started with my in laws living with me. I have another blog post describing my experience here. Yes my in-laws lived with us a few days after I had my daughter and lets say that wasn’t a great experience in the beginning.
I dealt with the baby blues and postpartum depression/ anxiety. I didn’t reach out to a doctor because I felt like I wasn’t getting the help I needed at home to watch my daughter to go and I was just overwhelmed.
Being at home and having my daughter seemed like life was draining out of me and I didn’t know how to control anything. I like to control my environment and everything was so out of place I just ended up being mad all the time, anxious and not wanting to be home at all.
I felt like I wanted to escape from my life and just sleep!
I remember seeing motherhood magazines, beautiful Instagram moms and it looked like they had it all together! I thought I was going to look like that but ended up the complete opposite!
Now don’t get fooled with my IG, yes I have beautiful photos now but this was a whole process (year long). I sure didn’t look like this initially and it took time for me to put in the effort for my clothes, exercising etc.
Remember, everything takes time and at your pace.
I laughed when I said this motherhood journey is the real hood! I felt like someone tricked me and I never thought I would ever get my sleep back.
This is my experience and it could be totally opposite for you. That’s the beauty of it. Everyone’s journey is different and we all have perfect validations of our feelings and stories.
Also, I would be a bit jealous of those who didn’t experience postpartum or their baby would sleep through the night. I’m like what! That’s not fair! But again, every baby is different and motherhood journey.
My first year had a TON of trials and now I feel like I’m experiencing the fruits of my labor. Now that my daughter is two, she sleeps through the night, she eats well (sometimes) , behaves well (most times lol) and I’m enjoying motherhood more.
That first year is rough though! It definitely is not a wall through a park. More like running through a dense forest and trying to figure your way out. It does get better I promise! I never believed it when people told me that but it does.
Give yourself time and you’ll see it. For now enjoy the journey, the experience, take lots of pictures (the happy and sad ones) then you can reflect on how small they were and how much you grew as well.
I definitely grew mentally and so thankful for my daughter for it.
Any myth you can resonate with? Let me know in the comments
